First time ever I feel READY to go back to work after a 2 week long holiday. Because let’s be honest, if you’re traveling which mostly what most of us do with the vacation days, you travel and go on trips and after returning from a trip, you feel so exhausted and you would usually NEED a day or two to unwind. I am always saying things like, “I need another vacation because I’m so exhausted from my last one!” Tell me you can relate!! And sadly for me, my 3 week vacation days from work is usually stretched thin between visiting back home and squeezing other mini getaways that leaves me with no buffer days before heading back to work. And the first day back is like an explosion of mixed emotions, one moment you’re excited to be back to your usual routine, no late night shenanigans, no exhaustion from having too much fun (if that’s even a thing) and next, your mind is still on that vacation high and can’t stay still. It keeps playing all the fun memories in your head on repeat making it sooo hard to focus. And as much as you want to yap about what an amazing holiday you had with your coworkers, you’re equally tired to even open your mouth to talk and be social. I know I get like that! I am like a walking zombie high on caffeine on the first day! And the night before the first day is the worst, ohh the anxiety I feel and the sadness that absorbs me is so similar to how I used to feel as a kid the night before the first day back to school after the end of a long summer vacation!
But this time it’s different. I stayed home throughout the entire 2 weeks. No traveling, no crazy schedules. Spent the days with casual activities mostly at home and attended a few dinners which didn’t take me to that level of exhaustion that you get after being too social (all the extroverts, please excuse my audacity), I know I’m weird but I’m unapologetically a hardcore introvert and too much socializing drains me out. And this holiday was mellow, exactly how I like it to be. I had time to think, reflect, organize, declutter and prepare for the end of the holiday. Because sadly, nothing lasts forever. I even had time to shoot some contents and write a few blog posts including this one!
But don’t get me wrong, it’s not all rainbows and sunshines staying home ALL DAY with your kid. Yes, it’s the same ME who always says, “staying home is a DREAM and oh the things I’d do to quit my job to do that”!! I always felt guilty working full time and not being able to spend enough time with my child so having some uninterrupted quality time with her was in fact a dream come true! But here’s a twist, I learned that grass is in fact always greener on the other side. As much as I LOVED spending so much time with my daughter these past weeks, I also felt miserable and at some point, suffocated about not being able to take any time out for myself. I had to attend a few holiday dinners which left me longing more for some alone time for myself. So I made it a priority to get me that ME time! I can be very social and life of a party if I am in the mood and to be in that mood, to be in my element, I need some time to myself. Nothing makes me more dejected than weekends that are filled with commitments. A very non ideal Saturday for me is when I’m constantly jumping from one activity to another with my child and then attending a fun party or night out with friends. For some people, THAT party is what they need to feel happy and energized. But for me, before I am able to be in a position to enjoy that party, I need to have a party by myself with just me and my coffee with a dash of peace and quiet.
My husband worked throughout the entire holidays which put the pressure a bit more on me and I kinda’ tasted what solo parenting is like which made me appreciate stay at home moms soooo much more than I could’ve ever imagined. But from all these mixed emotions, one thing that’s made me content is the fact that I am not getting that anxiety that I usually get the night before the first day back to work! First time ever, I am well rested and not exhausted and not scrambling last minute to get the lunches or outfits ready. I am actually super duper prepared and READY to go back and to double my excitement, the house is clean and the fridge is stocked up with my home cooked meals!! Yes!! I know unbelievable and all that happened because I slowed down. It’s one of my biggest goals for the coming year, to slow down and be more present with myself and my family! And THAT is the ultimate dream of a working mom! Fellow mamas tell me I’m not wrong!
